Deirdre and her nephew Bowen before they both got diagnosed with cancer.

My cancer diagnosis unceremoniously dropped me into a shrinking machine. The Master Shrinker did not discriminate or show mercy. A full life morphed into a small life.

I still traveled, but only across town and from one doctor’s appointment to the next. In keeping with my shrinking world, I lost parts of my mind, body and life. Breasts, lymph nodes, nails, hair. Strength, mobility, capacity to work. I curled up in my cancer cave while other life went on.

When I emerged and glanced uneasily at the warped remains of my life, I fell headlong into a crushing depression. Yes, I had survived treatment. Yes, I had no signs of cancer. But neither did I find signs of confidence.

I did not recognize my Self. Anxious, exhausted, despairing, dark. Like many cancer patients and survivors, I want to contextualize this darkness within the meta frame of deep gratitude. It took a village of love and support to get me through; it took the best of science and medicine. Gratitude and wreckage are not mutual exclusive. When I looked in the mirror, I found only a wobbly shrunken version of my formal self.

Nearly a year later, I had a vivid dream of traveling to northern India. Two weeks later, a friend sent a link in an email, “Thought of you. Take a look.” When the link opened, so did my mouth: I was staring at a picture of India. Below the picture was an invitation to apply for A Fresh Chapter’s pilot program. The deadline was midnight that night. With no idea how I’d fundraise or organize, I scribbled some words and hit send, pressing the YES button to life beyond cancer.

Now more than three years from the prescient dream, I have traveled to India three times. The first as a participant who reclaimed her confidence and joy by getting out of my own story to meet my New Self. The second and third as a co-facilitator with our bold, innovative leader, Terri Wingham.

During the dog days of treatment, I could not imagine leaving Seattle again. Now we are adding a new exciting program for this November 2015 and I stand poised to plant my feet on African soil. Emerge, I have.

If you want to join Deirdre and Terri for the adventure of a lifetime in Cape Town, check out all of the details on our brand new site: A Fresh Chapter Cape Town 2015 and mark your calendars. Applications open at noon (pst) on Thursday, May 7, 2015 and will only be open until midnight (pst) on Sunday, May 17, 2015. Say yes to your life beyond cancer. 

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://afreshchapter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/About-Me-pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Deirdre Wilcox came to A Fresh Chapter 3 years ago on the first program to India. She has returned twice as a co-facilitator with Terri. Deirdre is a two time cancer survivor who has experienced cancer among family, friends, and in her work as a yoga teacher, bodywork therapist and volunteer. Her passion is to support others in incorporating cancer and other life-changing events into their stories while not being defined by these events. She loves travel, adventure, good coffee and remaining upright on a stand up paddle board.[/author_info] [/author]