From October 15 – 29, 2016, A Fresh Chapter – in partnership with Lilly Oncology and Lilly’s Connecting Hearts Abroad program – piloted our first Odyssey in Peru. We shared an unforgettable two weeks of volunteering, cultural immersion, A Fresh Chapter activities, and a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Machu Picchu with 20 participants impacted by cancer. Today, Kahron shares her story, her experience in Peru and why – in spite of everything she is facing – she is grateful this Thanksgiving.

Traditionally Thanksgiving is a time to think about what gratitude and thankfulness really mean. In 2013 – a month before Thanksgiving – I was given 6-12 months to live when I was diagnosed with DeNovo stage 4 breast cancer and innumerable, painful bone metastasizes. I truly believed my life was over.

I was angry, sad, and immersed in uncertainty. I could not accept the losses: my career, my active lifestyle and most of all, the loss of the future with my amazing husband.

At that first Thanksgiving after diagnosis, I had a VERY hard time feeling grateful – and an even HARDER time feeling thankful for my life. As treatment after treatment failed, my cancer spread, and my physical challenges multiplied, I realized that I couldn’t continue to live with my feelings of anger and sadness. I had to get busy living … or, get busy dying.

So, I started advocating for metastatic breast cancer patients and for more research. I wrote, I spoke, I sat on panels, I poured my limited energy into advocacy and completely ignored my feelings. As my cancer progressed, I frantically tried to do more for other metastatic patients and less for myself so I could avoid my fear and uncertainty.

When I found out about A Fresh Chapter and their volunteer adventures, I thought it was an incredible idea, but I was terrified to participate. I wanted to help others, but I did not want to open Pandora’s box and explore MY loss, my fears, and my sadness. It took speaking to an alumni of the program – and hearing her say that it changed her life and saved her sanity – for me to apply. She, aptly, reminded me that either I was busy living, or busy dying.

I had no idea if I would still be walking when the Peru Odyssey began or if I would feel ok. I was both excited and absolutely terrified! Then, the day before I left for Peru I found out that my treatment was again failing and my cancer was progressing. Adversity and intensity was high, but I needed to go more than ever.

My experience in Peru with A Fresh Chapter was life changing.

I really truly thought I could go, keep a smile plastered on my face and help others without getting personally involved. My plan worked for exactly 6 hours and for that, I am grateful.

Whether it was helping others less fortunate, meeting the other members of my “tribe” (either with cancer or affected by it), participating in meaningful facilitated discussions, or simply having the opportunity to talk, to listen, or just FEEL, this experience changed my life. I haven’t laughed that hard since diagnosis. And, I have never cried that hard in my whole life.

This Thanksgiving, I am still trying to survive. I am still dealing with progression and increasing pain. I will always have a life filled with uncertainty.  But my head, my heart, and my ATTITUDE are different. I am grateful for so many things this year. I am thankful for my family, my friends, and most importantly, my husband. My time in Peru reminded me me how absolutely incredible they all are. I am also thankful for opening up to the emotional growth I experienced while I was away. Whether it was being honest about my loss and my fears; experiencing the happiness of volunteering at my placement; or sitting on top of Machu Picchu, I realized how much joy I actually have in my life – even with metastatic cancer. And for that realization – even with my uncertain future – I am truly grateful this Thanksgiving.

I am thankful to A Fresh Chapter for helping me find me again.

Cancer has taken many things from me – my career, my mobility, my future, but cancer can never take my love of life, my love of adventures, and my love for my husband. This Thanksgiving, no matter what your challenges may be, I hope you can look around you for the blessings surrounding you. They are there if you look.

And I ask that you remember that you are always making a decision. Each and every day. A decision to get busy living…

If you want to help more people like Kahron experience A Fresh Chapter, please donate NOW. Then, ask your friends to join you in making a contribution on #givingtuesday so we can reach our goal of $15,000 by December 31st! Together we are healing the emotional scars of cancer while building a better world.