“Knowing when to walk away is wisdom. Being able to is courage. Walking away with your head held high is dignity.” ~ Unknown

Earlier this year, I promised to tell you the truth about the highs and lows of building the foundation. So, even though it makes me squirm to be honest about my latest realization, here it is:

In trying to become sustainable, I lost my passion for the dream.

Perhaps you can relate? Countless hours, late nights, insufficient resources. The seemingly easy solution? Build what you think someone will fund. Attempt to navigate the conflicting opinions to “Be this. Do that.” Trust that if you keep adapting and shifting to match industry demands, it will all come together. All of this, while ignoring the little voice inside of you screaming, “Enough!”

If you have followed this blog for awhile, you might remember how on February 15, 2011, I told you I was Jumping Off The Cliff. I had just finished treatment for breast cancer, left my six-figure job and signed up to volunteer in Africa. That leap of faith took me places I never thought possible. From Cape Town to a big hairy audacious dream of circumventing the globe, to a pilot program in India; it was a wild and meaningful ride.

In spite of living out of suitcase for over 3 years and dealing with mountains of uncertainty, I was happy, fulfilled and inspired until about a year ago. Then came the realization that we couldn’t bootstrap this dream forever, so I turned to experts in the industry to show me the path to sustainability.

I met Executive Directors. Studied funding models. Wrote grant proposals. Came up with out-of-the-box solutions. But, in applying every ounce of dogged determination to securing the funding and resources to run more programs and touch more lives, my dream morphed until I almost didn’t recognize it anymore. Like a super-hero wannabe or a tap dancing teenager at a beauty contest; I learned new routines, put on the right costumes and plastered a smile on my face. I talked with potential partners about deep customizations to our programming in order to be more sellable. Although this all seemed like the responsible – dream-preservation – solution, it actually cost me the passion I’d had for the work.

It was our original mission – to ignite a spark of possibility, purpose, and connection in the lives of those impacted by cancer – that inspired me to give up everything and dive headlong into the unknown. As that mission got lost in multiple iterations of what we should be, I stopped feeling lit up. Instead, I just felt tired.

It was only through recent conversations with a few trusted advisors that I realized how depleted I was. They reminded me of the people who have always believed in us and who continue to donate their time and money because they want to be part of something different. They also helped me remember that passion is infectious and the right funders, volunteers, and participants only arrive when we are lit up by the vision and determined to change lives. I am so grateful to them and to you for helping me find my way home. My tap shoes are hung up and I’m lighter and more joyful than I’ve been in months.

Getting Lost is Part of The Journey

I don’t regret anything about my wild funding-and-knowledge-seeking goose chase. I needed to take the winding road to better understand the industry and make informed decisions about the best path forward. It’s only in experiencing defeat or losing our passion that we get the breadcrumb-like clues that bring us back to the work we’re meant to do.

The other thing I’ve learned is that no matter what your dream is, not everyone is going to get it. And, that’s ok.

It’s our job to learn as much as we can while protecting what lights us up. When we have the fire of a dream in our bellies and we’re willing to work crazy hours or give up life’s creature comforts to follow our passion, it’s a sign that we’re on the right path. And when that light goes out, it’s time to walk away from what doesn’t serve the vision and chose a new path forward.

The Foundation & What Defines This Dream

The Fresh Chapter Alliance Foundation will never serve the needs of the entire cancer community. And, that’s ok because we don’t need to. We have wonderful partners doing important work in the areas of research, prevention, education, patient care, traditional support groups, and so much more.

These last few weeks have reminded me that the work of transforming grief and adversity into purpose and connection is intangible, difficult to articulate, and very much needed. It might not make sense to some people why we use volunteering, meaningful travel, and activities that expand possibility and perspective to help people heal emotionally from the ravages of cancer.

And, that’s ok.

We don’t need everyone to get it. We simply need to keep doing the work that matters to us and trust that it’s enough. When we stay focused and walk away from anything that doesn’t serve the vision, we will continue to attract the right tribe. With a team of dedicated and committed change makers who share the same vision, I believe anything is possible.

In the words of one of our own, “Let us try to stay strong ourselves, not bow to pressure no matter how sweetly it is painted, and not be boxed in by making promises to please others.”

On that note – there are so many adventures ahead and we can’t way to share them with you. In less than a month, our next group will join us in India and we’re busy envisioning programs in South Africa and Brazil (stay tuned) as well as dreaming about our first Fresh Chapter Adventure here at home. We can’t wait to keep doing work that helps those impacted by cancer:

• Step beyond the borders of their comfort zones, face their fears, and find peace amidst uncertainty
• Give back as a way to feel connected to something greater than themselves while realizing that they are not alone in struggle.
• Have space away from family obligations, technology, and hospitals in order to process difficult emotions and make decisions about how they want to live fully – either with or beyond cancer
• Experience a dream come true and remember that even after a diagnosis, wonderful things can still happen in their lives
• Build connections based on shared humanity and experiences while feeling a sense of belonging to a tribe of people who just “get it”.

These are the hallmarks of what makes us special and they provide the map for us to move forward. Whenever I reach a future crossroads and wonder which path to follow, these signposts will guide the way.

Now, it’s you’re turn. I love hearing from you. Have you lost sight of where you started in order to please too many masters? Is it time to walk away from what no longer serves you so you can focus on what really matters? Please share your thoughts or comments below.

If you have been impacted by cancer and you’re interested in our international or domestic programs, make sure you’re signed up for updates here: Be Part of the FCAF Tribe. We will be making some big announcements soon about our future programs, and we can’t wait to create an opportunity for you to start fresh with us.

If our mission resonates with you and you want to get involved as a volunteer/agent of change or a funding partner, we can’t wait to hear from you. Contact us here to share your story with us.