Who knew that “hair” could be such a loaded word?

Sure, I have always obsessed a little about my hair. Who hasn’t? As I child, I often slept in huge foam curlers, so that I could wake up with the ringlets of my favorite fairy tale characters. In the sixth grade, I finally convinced my Mom to give me a boxed perm. Yes, the house smelled like chemicals for hours and yes, I looked like a poodle.

Then, I flirted with being “edgy” for a few months in Grade 11 and decided that I didn’t need to brush or blow dry my hair after my morning shower. I silently gloated that I was the most “low maintenance” girl in school and I thought I could totally pull off my laid back look. Unfortunately, the photos tell me otherwise…

In my early 20s, I started to experiment with colour. At first, I did it for fun but soon it became a necessity. By my late twenties, I cursed my genetics for threatening to make me look like a cougar far before my time.

All of that aside, I have had some recent epiphanies about the top of my head:

• It takes a lot of confidence to rock the bald look in public.
• Wearing a scarf on your head is harder than it looks. The trick is look runway chic instead of circus tent chic. I quickly realized that the wrong pair of hoops could make me look exactly like a fortuneteller.
• A wig does not feel like hair; it feels like a hat that gets in your face (a very expensive hat, I might add). Luckily, my beautiful wig was a dead wringer for my hair. So when I put it on, I could convince myself that nothing had changed. Even luckier, I have amazing friends who helped me cover the cost. J&S – I am still so grateful to you.
• When your hair starts to grow in, you realize how annoying it is to wake up looking like a 7-year-old boy. I wish that I had the lack of self-awareness that the boys in my Grade 2 class did. They came to school completely unperturbed by the hair horns sticking out of the side of their heads. I, however, am not a fan of the unicorn look.
• Styling short hair is a bit of an art form. Women, we are at a definite disadvantage. Teenage boys have years to perfect the art of gelling and sculpting their hair until they achieve the perfect combination of rumpled, yet still sexy. I am way behind in my apprenticeship. Right now, I oscillate between greasy and flat or matte and fluffy

Luckily, I have had a secret weapon in my stylist Amanda from Tao Salon. She helped me through the challenges of wig selection and styling and we are now on the long road of coaxing my slow growing hair into the perfect pixie cut.

The good news in all of this is that I am saving hours of my life by not having to blow dry and straighten my hair. I have also opted for the “salt and pepper” look instead of spending my limited funds on hair colour every 4-6 weeks. I am crossing my fingers that if I keep it short enough, no one will notice.

The bad news is that I have come down with a unhealthy dose of hair envy. Everywhere I go, all I notice is hair. Curly hair, straight hair, up dos, down dos, sleek bobs, or long tousled manes. Hair is my new drug of choice. So, the next time I see you, try not to be offended if I can’t make eye contact because I’m too busy looking up.