What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?  ~Robert H. Schuller

Are you a risk taker? A “throw caution to the wind” kind of guy or girl?

I’m not. Never have been. Never thought I would be.

You see, I was that kid who called my Mom to come pick me up at every single sleepover from the age of 6-14 because I didn’t feel brave enough to spend the night away from home. And even as recently as 5 years ago, I was the 27-year-old who wouldn’t go on a girls’ weekend away unless I knew exactly where I would sleep and what I would eat…I might even have been that girl who stuffed her pillow AND duvet in the trunk of her car before leaving town, just in case she needed it.

I know. I know. Was I little uptight? Yep. Anal retentive? Probably. Overly cautious? Actually, I preferred to think of it as pragmatic.

But, I was ok with those titles. I liked my comfortable life. My routine. The security of my six figure income. My apartment where everything was organized and categorized. I would have quite happily stayed in that safe place indefinitely…

Then, cancer came along and shattered my illusion of control. Sure, I could sleep in my own bed every single night (with the fluffy duvet and the perfect pillow), but I couldn’t control the murderous cells multiplying in my body. I couldn’t control the hair loss, the geriatric energy levels, or the lopping off of certain body parts. And I definitely couldn’t control how my experience with cancer shifted the course of my life forever.

About a year ago, I went through a pretty dark period. As you’ll read in my new page, My Adventure of Hope, I put pressure on myself to act confident about the end of treatment, but instead I felt depressed and alone (click here to read why).

So, on New Year’s Day 2011, I decided I wanted to carve a different path for my future. I said “Hell Yes” to a volunteer trip to Cape Town and now I’m about to say Hell Yes all over again as I Raise the Stakes and Go “All In”.

Have I become someone who loves being homeless and possession-less? Nope. It’s been over two months since I gave up my apartment and I still miss my fluffy duvet and perfect pillow, but I know this Big Hairy Audacious Dream of mine means making sacrifices along the way in order to see it realized.

Have I suddenly become braver and more in love with risk? Absolutely not. But, I have learned a thing or two since I heard those three little words on October 27, 2009.