Here it is, March. That time of year when the summer calendar starts to call. Planning and deciphering what needs to get on the calendar and what will need to wait can be paralyzing. I am not certain how setting boundaries became my kryptonite. Here in Northeast Wisconsin — summer is limited, twelve good weeks if we are lucky. The summer calendar demands concise planning, setting boundaries with our time, family, and friends. Every spring, I can feel the knot in my stomach tightening as decisions have to be made. To combat the panic of setting the summer calendar, I am enlisting the help of all my boundary resources. Cheers to a summer full of carefully curated time with those we love! 

The single greatest resource for a self-proclaimed “pushover” is Nancy Levin’s Setting Boundaries Will Set You Free. This book is magic for those of us who struggle with boundaries. One of the most useful parts of this read are the different exercises at the end of each chapter. The exercises allow the reader to really identify their own patterns and look to make improvements. I found reading Levin’s own story and reckoning with her boundaryless life enlightening. She takes time to identify the many ways her behaviors were making her miserable. This book has allowed me to truly embrace the mantra— “When I feel resentment — a boundary has been trampled and I need to examine this.” It is empowering to know we have the power to correct our situation. Resentment begone!

If you’re still struggling with setting limits, check out Dodging Energy Vampires by Dr. Christiane Northrup. (I mean, conjuring up a mental image of an energy vampire, fangs and all, is quite entertaining.) This book describes Highly Sensitive People (HSP) and how their inability to set boundaries can interfere with their health, happiness, and energy. This is such an incredibly useful read for cancer patients. It can empower those of us with health issues to realize limits on toxic energy may actually extend our lives, AND it will also improve the hell out of the life we have! A guilt-free way to untether ourselves from bad vibes. Powerful.  

If a book doesn’t feel like the best way to dive into this topic, check out the podcast, Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries with Vicki Tidwell Palmer. Vicki is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and author. Her podcasts are practical and efficient in 20–30-minute increments. Each podcast focuses on a different aspect of setting boundaries, from learning how to identify and set boundaries to unique challenges with different limits – think setting boundaries with close family.

Stay tuned for next month’s post, which will feature brand new resources to explore. 

Kate is a member of several AFC circles. She is an avid reader who enjoys sharing exciting, new resources focusing on personal, professional and spiritual growth. Kate is a freelance writer residing in Northeast Wisconsin with her husband and three teenage children.