It’s Not About The Earth-Shattering Moments

Terri Wingham is the founder and CEO of A Fresh Chapter, a cancer survivor, and someone who believes that we are not defined by the most difficult aspects of our story.

Written by Terri Wingham | April 7, 2013

When was your last earth-shattering A-HA moment? You know, that moment when you realized some universal truth and everything in your life instantly made sense and became perfect.

If you are reading this and thinking, “Oh sh!t – I’ve never had a moment like that” – Welcome To The Club. Epiphanies don’t happen in real life like they do in the movies. There is no perfect moment of clarity where everything messy in your life gets resolved and you are never un-happy, lonely, or searching for direction again.

Instead, if you are human, you probably ask yourself one of the following questions on a pretty regular basis: “Am I on the right path? Am I happy? Is the vision I have for my life even possible?” (more…)

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Comments (18)
  • jbaird • April 7, 2013

    What great lessons you’ve learned in your adventures! Over the last few months I realize I may be on the receiving end of the kind of care patients are getting in New Delhi. I’m appreciative of teams who make an impression like that. Thanks! xo

  • Terri Wingham • April 8, 2013

    Jan – Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is always such a pleasure to know that you are along for this Fresh Chapter journey. We are all learning lessons every day and I’m so happy to know you. Terri

  • Waukena Cuyjet-Kapsch • April 7, 2013

    Powerful and once again inspiring.

  • Terri Wingham • April 8, 2013

    Thanks Waukena! So happy for the moments of connection that introduced me to Cecily and to you. Happy Monday my friend.

  • pinkunderbelly • April 8, 2013

    It’s so cool to learn more about your adventures. I so admire your out-of-the-box thinking and your big dreams!

  • Terri Wingham • April 8, 2013

    Nancy,
    As always – it’s such a treat to hear from you. I love seeing your name in my inbox and I’m so glad that you continue to join us for our big adventures!
    Terri

  • Jelayna • April 8, 2013

    Hello Terri! Jelayna Da Silva dropping in to say hello. Just wanted to let you know I love reading your encouraging words. My mother was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer (early detection, so we are grateful, and she is doing well, pretty much in the clear). I was also grateful knowing I could pass along your words and experience to her for encouragement. Always hoping for the very best for you. You inspire me to be a better version of myself. My Best to you!!

  • Terri Wingham • April 9, 2013

    Jelayna,
    Thank you so much for your email and for sharing your Mom’s story. I’m so happy to hear that she’s doing well and I know how challenging the road can be as both a patient and a family member. I am always hoping for the best for you too and I would love to catch up and hear what’s new in your life.
    Terri

  • Nancy's Point • April 10, 2013

    I watched the video and yes, I am smiling! You are doing amazing things, Terri!

  • Terri Wingham • April 16, 2013

    Thanks Nancy – So are you! Always wonderful to hear from you. Sending you love and light. Terri

  • Marie Ennis-O'Connor (@JBBC) • April 12, 2013

    Love this reminder that life doesn’t reveal itself to us in earth shattering moments of clarity but in the small moments that if we are not careful we can miss.

  • Terri Wingham • April 16, 2013

    Thanks Marie – You are in my thoughts always. Sending love. Terri xo

  • bethgainer • April 13, 2013

    Terri, you are awesome, and I admire all you are doing. This is a wonderful post. Very telling is the sentence: “With cancer, as with heartbreak, loss, or tragedy of any kind, there are no quick fixes or easy answers.” You are right about epiphanies; they don’t happen overnight.

    After cancer treatment, I had an epiphany that my bad marriage and terrible job and stressful lifestyle were no way to live. I made changes to all of them, and I’m so happy the changes were made. However, this didn’t happen overnight. It took some perspective to realize I needed a change.

  • Terri Wingham • April 16, 2013

    Beth – Thank you so much for sharing your story and how it takes time for epiphanies to lead to real change. I love the direction your life has taken and your story continues to inspire me! Terri xo

  • Tiffany Bond • April 15, 2013

    I just finished reading this post of yours on another site

    “We all struggle with our sense of identity once the cancer is over. We know we’re not the same as we used to be, no matter how much other people may want us to be. But we may also be at a loss to figure out who we are.

    I want to tell you about one very brave and incredibly inspiring woman (and a dear friend) who’s doing something truly unique to rediscover herself: She’s traveling around the world to volunteer. That’s right. To help others, and thereby help herself.

    Cancer is Over, but Things Aren’t the Same

    I met Terri Wingham through Twitter, and then I was able to meet with her face-to-face in New York City. I fell in love with her heart and her passion and we have been in touch ever since. She’s a breast cancer survivor from my hometown in Vancouver, and fought bravely through a double mastectomy and follow-up treatments. But one of the hardest parts of the process was adjusting once treatments were over.

    “I never expected how hard it would be to pick up the pieces of my pre-cancer life and move forward after treatment ended,” she said. “I could tell that everyone else was excited for my cancer to be over, so they could finally move on with their lives. But I hated that cancer would never be over for me. Friends and family wanted the pre-cancer Terri to come back, but I felt like that person no longer existed.”

    I can soooo relate. I have never heard anyone else talk about this and it is exactly how I am feeling 5 years post HPV related Oropharynx cancer. I went through 35 radiations and 3 chemo concurrently. I was a domestic violence counsellor at the time. My mom was diagnosed with Breast cancer (reoccurrence) in the same week as I. Long story short I lost my mom to breast cancer just as I finished up my treatments. I was then told i had the BRCA gene 1 so i had a preventative hysterectomy and double mastectomy with reconstruction and ended up going from a 50-85% chance of getting breast cancer to a 3% chance. I do volunteer work with the Canadian cancer society and have recently thought I would like to help build a home with Habitat for Humanity but this enterprising NGO you have started sounds like what I have been waiting for. God bless you for this and hopefully one day we will meet.

  • Terri Wingham • April 16, 2013

    Tiffany – Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is a powerful one and I’m so happy to have met you. I also have the BRCA1 gene and know what a slap in the face this news can be. I look forward to keeping in touch and finding the opportunity to meet one day. Perhaps on the other side of the world on a Fresh Chapter Adventure 😉 Thanks for your comment and let’s keep in touch.
    Terri

  • Facing Cancer Together • April 17, 2013

    It’s an important reminder in your post, Terri – and one that carries me forward every day. I’m not always certain what I’ doing with my life (to be honest!) but in looking back I see paths forged and no regrets left on the trail – so reminders like yours help push me forward again till I can finally see the sense once more. ~ Catherine

  • Terri Wingham • April 23, 2013

    Catherine – Thanks for your comment and your honesty. So often we push forward, even if we don’t know exactly where we’re going. I look forward to continuing to cheer each other on as we keep living the questions. I hope you’re well! Terri xo

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