Uncertainty has always been a dirty word for me. Even just the way it rolls off my tongue feels sticky and uncomfortable. Over the years, I’ve tried plenty of coping methods including obsessive exercising, marathon wine drinking, and even (cringe) excessive relationship “deconstructing” and “fixing”.

It’s only since cancer dropped the certainty is an illusion bomb in my lap that I began playing in the uncertainty sandbox. Like a toddler learning to share with a new playmate, there are still times when I want to stomp my feet and scream. It’s not FAIR. I want to know how this plays out and if the sacrifice will be worth it. Yet, when I lean a little less rigidly into the future, amazing moments have an opportunity to unfold.

If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking, That’s great for you Terri, but how the hell do I LEAN into uncertainty and what does that mean anyway?

Enter Fresh Thinker Jonathan Fields and his book Uncertainty. As part of our weekly series, I promised you less fluff and more insights to apply to your own life and I couldn’t think of a better topic for week #3 than Uncertainty. We all face it and wrestle with how to manage it.

In Uncertainty, Jonathan writes,

We are wired from birth to want answers and hard data. Uncertainty is okay, as long as it exists in someone else’s life or we don’t have to do anything about it. But as soon as we’re challenged to own it and act in the face of it, with rare exceptions we run from it. Because running at it terrifies us. We’re scared of the discomfort that comes with opening doors without knowing what’s behind them. Scared of being judged if it’s a monster. Scared of having to pick up the pieces and rebuild if we go to zero. Even scared of hitting the jackpot. And beyond the fear, we just plain hate the persistent anxiety that rides along with continually leaning into the unknown. Without intervention, we experience it as anywhere from discomfort to outright suffering.

Uncertainty Intervention

An uncertainty intervention? I love that idea. To truly understand what Jonathan means and to read the case studies and research he has to back up his theories, you’ll have to check out the book. But, until then, here are a few standout suggestions that resonated with me:

• Certainty anchors – Find an activity each day that grounds you. Something that you can lean on when everything else feels like it’s spinning out of control. For me, it’s the 20 minutes of writing I do almost every morning as soon as I wake up. Even if I can’t control or predict anything else in my day, those 20 minutes help me stay focused and grounded. 
• Look for heros or mentors. Find people who inspire you and even if you never meet them, you can follow their work. The insights they share will help you see your own life differently. I’m a huge fan of Jonathan’s series, The Good Life Project where he features in-depth interviews with thought leaders and world shakers. Jonathan and many of his guests continue to inspire me to step into uncertainty as a starting point for creativity. 
• Test and redevelop – no matter what you are working on, you probably won’t get it right the first time. Don’t beat yourself up so much. Sometimes our biggest mistakes lead to our greatest successes.
• Pull vs Push – Instead of always pushing for something to turn out the way you want it to, try pausing for a moment to see what is pulling you and why you are following a dream. As Jonathan says, “You need to have a strong sense of what you’re trying to build, who you’re serving, and why.” If you’re pushing your own agenda, take a step back and think about how you can better serve the people around you. The answers will appear.

All of this being said, I have learned that lessons are not like light switches. We don’t have a brilliant AHA Moment one day and then waltz through the rest of our lives gloriously evolved. Instead, we have an AHA Moment, move towards a path that feels more right for us, and then wake up feeling like we’re in the dark again until another AHA Moment brings us back on track.

When it comes to uncertainty, I don’t think any of us will get to a place where we love it all the time and we never feel afraid or overwhelmed by the unknown again. Instead we make a decision that feels right even when we can’t predict the outcome. We trust that we are never going to be perfect at it, but if we lean in, we might look back one day and see just how much we’ve grown.

If you’re contemplating a change and the uncertainty ahead terrifies you, here is a passage from Jonathan’s book that might give you a little comfort and a nudge forward.

“When you run from uncertainty, you end up running from life. From evolution. From growth. From wisdom. From friendship. From love. From the creation of art, services, solutions, and creative experiences that move beyond what’s been done before to illuminate, serve, solve, and delight in a way that matters. In a way that makes you come alive and that people will remember.”