When Imperfection Works Out Perfectly…

Terri Wingham is the founder and CEO of A Fresh Chapter, a cancer survivor, and someone who believes that we are not defined by the most difficult aspects of our story.

Written by Terri Wingham | November 21, 2013

photo-7It didn’t work out at all like I had imagined. In fact, it was so far from “perfect”,  you could almost call it a failure.

In addition to volunteering, my original vision for the FCAF North American program also included a house perched above the waves – the crash of the surf lulling cancer survivors to sleep – and dinner with a surprise celebrity guest. I mean – why wouldn’t Sheryl Crow want to meet a group of amazing fellow survivors while giving a private concert? I figured if I couldn’t bring the Taj Mahal to local survivors, I could create an EPIC experience that participants would talk about for weeks to come.

But, no matter how hard I tried to corral them, the pieces of the “perfect” weekend kept slipping through my fingers. Ten days before our scheduled start date, I almost postponed the program and admitted I had completely failed. After all, I had no mansion. No celebrities. No epic surprises. It looked like my time in the world of audacious dreaming had come to an end.

Then, I got a text message from one of our returning India participants telling me she had booked her flight to Los Angeles. She believed in me and AFC enough to buy her own plane ticket to LA. I felt like ready or not – the program had to move forward. Her text message forced me to let go of the idea of perfection and embrace what was still possible.

photo-9Somehow – with only days to go – the pieces of the 2 day program slid perfectly into place. Even if there was no mansion and no celebrity, our incredible Los Angeles partners went above and beyond to fulfill our mission of igniting a spark of possibility, purpose, and connection in our participants.

As we pulled weeds in the community garden at the 24th Street school, friendships were forged and survivors told their stories to each other (some for the first time). As the sun slipped into the ocean beyond Venice Beach, participants let go of old hurts and made room for fresh dreams. Throughout the weekend, one activity flowed effortlessly into the next. It flowed so perfectly that no one would have known it wasn’t perfect.  I can’t take credit for the magic. It was simply about bringing together the right people, at the right time, and in the right place(s).

Our weekend reminded me that epic is not about mansions or celebrities. It is about not feeling alone for the first time since a cancer diagnosis, meeting people who see the world the way you do (even if your circumstances couldn’t be more different), and finally finding the peace you need to sleep through the night (maybe for the first time in months).

I saw eyes light up with possibility, tears when we all said goodbye, and pacts formed when local survivors vowed to be part of FCAF India in 2015. If that isn’t perfection, I don’t know what is.

What Are You Waiting For?

photo-26Has imperfection ever paralyzed you? Maybe you are pressuring yourself to lose those last 10 pounds before you start dating or trying to perfect every sentence before letting anyone read the draft of your first novel? Whatever it is you are holding out for, let it go.

Life is NEVER going to be as perfect as you’d like it to be. But, what if you take a step forward anyways? What if you make a decision to open yourself up to love (even if your heart might get broken), apply for a new job (even if you might not get it), or dream about a brand new adventure (when you have no idea how you’re going to get there)?

Even if nothing turns out the way you hope it will, I bet you’ll find fresh joy, meaning, and adventure in those beautiful moments of imperfection. I know I did.

Be Sociable, Share!
Comments (7)
  • Emma-Louise Elsey • November 22, 2013

    Thanks for this awesome article Terry! It reminds me that we don’t need amazing, epic things to make our experience amazing and epic! Just people. Relationships. Inspiration. Great job Terry. Em xxx

  • Terri Wingham • November 22, 2013

    Wonderful to hear from you Em. Really appreciate your comment. Have a great weekend! Terri

  • Cecily • November 22, 2013

    Congratulations for successfully launching your new North American program, Terri!! You’re right – the value of FCAF isn’t in celebrities and mansions – it’s all about the PEOPLE. I’m so sorry I couldn’t join you this time. I hope to be there for the next one. Kudos!!!

  • Terri Wingham • November 22, 2013

    Thanks Cecily! We missed you, but it was a wonderful experience and I look forward to doing it again soon! It IS all about the PEOPLE and we had some wonderful participants with us:) Terri

  • Susan Zager • November 22, 2013

    What a wonderful story and how lovely that the universe works so that the right people ended up in the right place at the right time!

  • Terri Wingham • November 22, 2013

    Thanks Susan – As always – I really appreciate the support. You’re right – the universe delivered and everything worked out exactly as it was meant to!

  • Weekly Round Up – The Thanksgiving Edition | Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer • November 30, 2013

    […] the Big Question After Cancer Treatment – “Why Not?” and cites the remarkable Teri Wingham as an example of those who dared to dream big […]

Get A Fresh Chapter Updates