It Takes Courage to Grow Up…
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Terri Wingham is the founder and CEO of A Fresh Chapter, a cancer survivor, and someone who believes that we are not defined by the most difficult aspects of our story. |
What was your favourite book when you were a child? My infatuation with “The Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room” was probably an early indicator of my obsessive compulsive tendencies. Every time I got to choose the bedtime story, I would dig out the dog eared copy and fist pump the air in celebration. Then, I would smile with undisguised glee when we got to the page where Papa Bear installed a cork board on the wall of Sister and Brother Bears’ bedroom and Mama Bear helped the bear cubs organize their puzzles, books, and stuffed animals into labelled cardboard boxes and then placed these boxes in perfect (maybe even alphabetical?) order on the closet shelf. Yes, my neurotic perfectionism started early.
My sister, Katy Suik, adored the Owl and the Pussycat and she made me sit through it every time it was her turn to choose the bedtime story. I can still hear her whispering the words to herself in our shared bedroom, long after story-time had ended…”the owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat, they took some honey and plenty of money wrapped up in a five pound note.” Katy was always the more poetic dreamer and she continues to dream big dreams and to help other women do the same. She has limited space available in her upcoming Operation Self Discovery program, so if you are a frazzled Mom looking for a way to get back to your best self, sign up while you still can.
As for me, I guess it’s never too late to take a page out of the Owl & The Pussycat because I am prepared to “sail away for a year and a day” in order to make my Big Hairy Audacious Dream come true. But more on that later…
In keeping with the theme of childhood books, a couple of references to the Velveteen Rabbit popped up in the Blogosphere this week. Marie’s blog, Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer reaches out to hundreds of patients and survivors of breast cancer around the globe. I want to share with you what she wrote today: (more…)
Comments (11)
Oh I love that my post inspired you and I never tire of reading that passage and each time I get a lump in my throat. It is one of the most beautiful passages of prose I have ever read. And like you I did think about those lines about most of your hair being loved off in relation to my own chemo-induced hair loss and I just adore that picture of you with your brother 🙂
Thank you so much Marie! Love trading quotes and blog posts…we have a thing or two in common with the way we see the world 😉
What a beautiful, thought-provoking and inspiring post. I’ll definitely visit the “Becoming Real” post as well. I have to admit though, I experience a little anger when I think about the particular experiences that are gradually making me more “real.” Would I swap my implants for my real breasts, take my ovaries back, give up my BRCA genes, or the triggered genes that give me Alopecia areata if it meant being less real? You betchya! But I clearly don’t get to choose my genes, and I definitely did choose how to respond to those genes, and that has been a very real experience. I never wanted to be perfect or unused, just would have liked to keep my parts while becoming real.
Thanks for sharing this. I’m inspired to track down that old book, long forgotten from the days when my children were growing.
Susan
Susan,
Thank you so much for your honesty and I completely relate to what you are saying. I would love to get my breasts back and to not worry about making the decision about when I’m going to get my ovaries out. Yet, I know I am a different person because of this experience and many of the changes in who I am are positive, even if the process sucked. Life doesn’t always make sense, does it? I am so happy we have connected. Even though I know I am more real now, I definitely have my moments of rage that I talked about in a couple of posts a few weeks back: https://afreshchapter.com/hello-rock-ahh-hard-place-here-you-are-again.html and https://afreshchapter.com/what-i-know-for-sure-thanks-for-the-phrase-oprah.html. It sounds like you can relate. By the way, I love your site and the beautiful scarves. I was a scarf girl all the way through – it’s too bad we didn’t connect until now.
Have a great weekend!
Terri
Beautiful Terri. absolutely beautiful. speaks to my life journey at this moment.
Thank you! Love the most recent post on your site. So poetic. My comments were rushed and a bit disjointed because I am trying to do a million things to day, but hopefully the gist of it comes through! So happy for you and so glad to have found another Rilke fan!
I just found your blog. As a fellow cancer survivor, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Also…Great Blog! You are a credit to the cancer blogging community. I have added you to my blogroll, “Cancer Blogs Lists” with over 1400 other personal cancer blogs at http://www.beingcancer.net, a cancer networking site featuring a cancer book club, guest blogs, cancer resources, reviews and more.
If you have not visited before or recently, please stop by. If you agree that the site is a worthwhile resource for those affected by cancer, please consider adding Being Cancer Network to your own blogroll.
Now that you are listed, you can expect to gain a wider audience for your thoughts and experiences. Being Cancer Network is a place to share and communicate.
Take care, Dennis (beingcancer@att.net)
Dennis,
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog. I just checked out Being Cancer and you have done a fabulous job with the site. I am impressed! I would love for you to add me to your site. Would I be included in the Breast Cancer blog section? If it helps for clarification purposes, I have the BRCA1 gene mutation and was diagnosed with a triple negative, stage 1, grade 3 tumour in Oct 2009. I have added your site to my blogroll and look forward to keeping in touch. The focus of my writing is to help anyone (cancer survivor or not) start A Fresh Chapter in their own life. If you are ever looking for a guest post about taking risks, starting over, and following your dreams, I would be happy to get involved. There are so many great resources for people going through treatment, that I tend to leave that type of blogging to my fellow BC Survivor bloggers. Also, if you have a chance, I would love to hear your thoughts on My Big Hairy Audacious Dream. This not for profit idea is in the very initial stages and I’m trying to gauge whether other survivors would like to get involved: https://afreshchapter.com/heres-my-new-big-hairy-audacious-dream-bhad-whats-yours.html
Thanks again for reaching out and I look forward to keeping in touch.
Cheers,
Terri
[…] that my post on becoming real inspired both Katy in One Wild Ride and Terri’s post It Takes Courage to Grow Up and this week Share this:StumbleUponDiggRedditTwitterLike this:LikeBe the first to like this […]
Great read today Terri. Very enlightening and thought provoking. It’s always a pleasure to sit with my coffee and read your latest post. You are in an inspiration to us all. Love you always, Japes x
Japes,
Thanks so much for the comment. I love that we can stay connected, even after so many years and across so many miles. Big hugs and I hope I have an excuse to come see you again soon. T. xo