Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.  ~Ambrose Redmoon

In keeping with the theme of my recent post, If I Had To Live My Life Over, let’s talk a bit more about fear. What scares you? When do your fears catch up with you? What do you do about it?

I gave my 30 day notice for my apartment last week and since then, my old friend Fear has crawled under the covers at night and snuggled up to me. He usually waits until I close my eyes, and then I feel his icy hands around my waist and smell his metallic breath in the air.

He comes in a variety of forms. Sometimes, he transforms himself into the face of Gertrude, my aging, yellowed teeth, judgemental inner critic and lobs the usual questions at me like, “who do you think you are?” or “why can’t you just settle down and be happy with a normal life?“

Other times, he arrives as Constantine, my inner control freak. The dictator who first surfaced when I was about 5 and who lived in my back pocket for the next 25 years, until cancer booted him off his autocratic throne. While I am trying to sleep, Constantine barks commands at me to get up and open an Excel spread sheet and then itemize every sweater in my closet, dish in my cupboard, and DVD on my shelf and make a decision about whether to sell it or keep it; how to pack it; and if I do decide to hold on to it, where the hell I’m going to store it. (more…)