A Girl With A Dream

From the moment I met Melissa on the steps of the Museum of Metropolitan Art in New York city, I knew she was special. Her luminous blue-green eyes had this tentative way of inviting you in and making you want to linger. Like if you could just stay with her long enough, she might say something that would change you forever.

Melissa had recently applied for the A Fresh Chapter pilot program I was putting together to bring cancer survivors to India. I happened to be in New York, so we made plans to meet in person. After we shook hands, her delicate fingers immediately went to her head. She flushed and I noticed the faintest lisp as she told me it was her first time in public without her wig. I told her she was beautiful. With or without hair, she had the kind of beauty that could stop traffic.

The autumn leaves had already turned the colours of the sunset and the sky was electric blue as we stepped out of the crisp air and into a nearby deli. Amidst the clatter of a bustling lunch crowd, she leaned in and shared her story. Ewings Sarcoma at 28. An impossible diagnosis for a vibrant New York artist. Her eyes would occasionally fill as she talked about a relationship ending and her career stalling because of cancer. Each time, she would reach up to touch the silver pendant around her neck and hold onto it until her emotions steadied.

“Why India and why now?” I asked the question I was asking all of the applicants.

“India has always been my dream. As an artist, I’m inspired by the colours, the culture, just everything. Cancer has taken so much from me, it would be incredible to have this dream come true. And, after a year of treatment, I just want to feel inspired again.” She looked off into the distance and I could picture her with a paint brush in her hand.

I knew she had to be one of the 12 survivors to join me in India.

~~~

A Cruel Setback

A month before our departure, I received an email from Cecelia, Melissa’s mother. The cancer had returned and spread to Melissa’s lungs. Melissa was in the fight of her life, but she refused to give up on India. Three weeks after resuming chemotherapy, she boarded an Air India flight and landed in New Delhi 14 hours later. When I was in treatment, I could barely walk to the corner store. Melissa, however, chose to fly to the other side of the world to volunteer.

During our first conversation in New Delhi over a steaming cup of chai, I asked the question. “How do you want to feel while you’re in India?”

For the briefest moment, she looked past me as if she was staring into her future. Her eyes clouded and she coughed to hide her tears.

I want to be ‘in the moment’,” she said when she finally turned back to me. “For two weeks, I don’t want to be Melissa who has cancer. I just want to be here with all of you and to savour every second of India.”

And she did just that. For two weeks, she wasn’t Melissa the cancer patient. She was Melissa the artist, the lover of puppets, the girl with an easy laugh, the teacher of art, and the student of India. Even with chemo-induced fatigue and a nasty chest cold that kept Melissa and I in the hospital for hours, her gratefulness for the experience never faltered. She loved India and India loved her. Strangers asked to get their photos taken with her when we went sightseeing. Kids crowded around her feet asking her to draw their pictures when she volunteered. And, a boy whose family sells puppets made her face light up brighter than I’ve ever seen when he held the strings of a puppet and made it dance just for her. For those two weeks, cancer wasn’t her story, life was.

On our final night in New Delhi, none of us wanted to say goodbye to her. As she was leaving, Melissa said, “When I was re-diagnosed with cancer, I didn’t think I would ever smile again, but this has been the best two weeks of my life.”

The Final Chapter

To know Melissa was to love her.

Since returning from India in March 2013, she has shown incredible grace and resilience when faced with the advancement of her disease and the disappearance of any hope that she would recover. In spite of the short timeline, she’s accomplished more in the last year than many of us would in 12.

On the night of March 31, 2014, the world became a darker place when Melissa passed away. She left each of us richer for having known her. If you have a few minutes, read these wonderfully written pieces about Melissa’s life and work – Melissa Carroll’s Technicolor Dream and As Light Is Said to Do – and you will finish them inspired to think about what’s possible in your life.

Melissa is a testament to the fact that each of our lives matter. Each of us has the ability to use our talents to serve the world. Each of us can make a lasting impact on someone else’s life. Even if Melissa’s story ended far too soon, she taught so many of us how to make our final chapters count.

The Legacy: Please Help Us Create A Fund In Melissa’s Name

The morning after Melissa left this world, I received this message from Cecelia –  Melissa’s mom.

Terri. From the school I teach at, an email was sent out to parents about Melissa by one of my colleagues. I asked that any donations be directed to the Fresh Chapter Alliance Foundation. Her trip with you was a major highlight in her life. She thought the world of you. 

The feeling was mutual. Inspired by this email, we’re creating the Melissa Carroll Legacy Fund. ALL Donations made to A Fresh Chapter during the month of APRIL 2014 went directly to a fund that helps patients and survivors with limited financial means achieve big dreams. Working with Melissa’s family, we’ll come up with the criteria and then give applicants for our 2015 programs the opportunity to apply for funding to make their dreams of an international volunteer adventure come true.

If Melissa’s story touched your life, please stay tuned for the upcoming Melissa Carroll Legacy Fund page on the site where you can donate in honour of Melissa or someone else in your life.

Share Your Comments Below

There are people all over the world grieving the loss of our beautiful girl. Her friend Erika shared this perfect quote on Facebook – Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. -Anaïs Nin

If you knew Melissa, I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to share one of your favourite memories of her in the comments below. We look forward to helping her stories live on as we make dreams come true for other cancer survivors.

If you are a cancer patient or survivor, click here to subscribe to the Fresh Chapter Alliance Foundation and you’ll be the first to know about upcoming adventures and funding opportunities. You can also join our community on Facebook or Twitter. 

A Fresh Chapter – Chasing Dreams & Changing Lives from A Fresh Chapter on Vimeo.