For some people diagnosed with cancer, it can seem like an ongoing nightmare.

When Bernie Leno, now 38, was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in 2010, at first it seemed like her treatment plan, while difficult, would be fairly straightforward – lumpectomy followed by six months of chemotherapy and radiation.

But Leno, who is a young survivor, learned that radiation therapy might damage her heart. So she opted for a double mastectomy to reduce her chances of recurrence.

“So that was like I got diagnosed all over again,” Bernie said. “And then to have more treatments, and then trying to get my life back together, and then having more surgery and then implants… last year was the first year I didn’t have any surgeries.”

And Bernie’s difficulties haven’t ended – she’s now dealing with bone damage to her jaw that was caused by chemotherapy that will require surgeries and braces to repair. “It’s going on a lot longer than I thought it was going to.”

Which is often the case with people who are experiencing cancer – whether it’s ongoing physical or emotional trauma.

“I’m in really good hands, but it’s frustrating,” Bernie said. “I just want to be like a regular person again – you know, as regular as I can be, because I’ve always been an oddball.”

Bernie, who is an artist and the director of administration at Fuck Cancer in Vancouver, first learned of A Fresh Chapter through her workplace and then through a friend who participated in the first India trip. That encouraged Bernie to pursue the trip in March 2014.

“To be honest, I wasn’t quite sure why I was applying – I was scared from the beginning, even just putting the application in,” Bernie said. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, what if this happens?’ But I was just sort of hoping it would.”

“I think I was hoping to meet new people throughout North America, and I’m an artist, so I really got excited about the colors and the culture,” Bernie said. “I was looking forward to experiencing that, and maybe hopefully bringing a part of India home with me, and to integrate it into my own art.”

Bernie reached her fundraising goal on Jan. 10, 2014. The next day she learned that her close friend Ben, who also was an artist, had died in his sleep.

“It shattered me,” Bernie said, and nearly cancelled her trip. “Why would I want to go away to this far-off place with a bunch of strangers? Why don’t I just go for these two weeks and spend time with people who I love and I know because they might not be around?”

But at the funeral, Ben’s wife told Bernie that Ben wouldn’t want her to cancel her trip. So she went, though it was one of the hardest things for her to do.

During a tour of some Hindu temples before the volunteer experience began, Bernie felt drawn to statues of Ganesh, the elephant god, the remover of obstacles. It became her talisman.

“Whenever I looked at him, I just wanted to cry, I just felt so much joy and peace, that I was like, ‘OK, I’m meant to be here.’”

Bernie said she became attached to the Cross-Cultural Solutions crew and to her new friends. She also became attached to the sense of happiness that pervaded the experience of teaching English to boys in the Delhi slums.

“I had such amazing kids,” Bernie said. “And they were a few days that I had to teach these classes by myself, and it scared the crap out of me.”

But by the end of the week when Bernie and the other volunteers had to leave, some of the kids ran after the car, waving goodbye.

“I gained so much from it,” Bernie said. “I remember, I was one of the last people to leave because I was at the airport waiting, and I was just so sad – like I did not want to leave Delhi.”

“And I was so happy once I got home – there was just sort of the sense of, ‘I went to Delhi, by myself, I was on this plane by myself, I raised these funds.’ I felt like if I can do this, I can pretty much do anything,” Bernie said. “I sort of have this Wonder Woman, let’s-go-out-and-tackle-the-world kind of thing.”

The trip also gave her a sense of gratitude and a sense of joy from teaching students who were mired in poverty yet had a spirit of happiness.

“I never thought that would connect on such a deep level in such a short period of time,” Bernie said.

Since she’s been home, Bernie has been dealing with her ongoing medical issues, but trying to take good care of herself and create meaningful experiences at home.

“I’ve been more active in volunteering, locally and nationally, so that’s been a real big. Sometimes I find I might overstretch myself, but it’s a work in progress, and I’m definitely happier than I was before.”

Nikki Kallio is a writer and cancer survivor. She has worked for newspapers in Wisconsin, Maine and California in a number of roles, including as a health reporter and opinion writer, during which time she traveled to the Mideast and Central Asia as a part of the National Conference of Editorial Writers (NCEW). She’s a graduate of the Goddard College MFA creative writing program, and her fiction has appeared in several literary publications. She currently writes for a business magazine in Wisconsin, teaches fiction writing classes, and is completing edits on her first novel.