Aime Franco, PhD is an Associate Professor of Physiology and Biophysics at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. She is an 18-year survivor of follicular thyroid cancer, and is actively involved with advocacy efforts within Little Rock and nationally.

Being a scientist and survivor

I came into the role as advocate, a little reluctantly. First and foremost, I was a scientist with a PhD in Cancer Biology, who also happened to be a cancer survivor.  I was diagnosed with cancer when I was 22, a time in my life when I wanted to be defined as anything but a cancer patient. So I hid my diagnosis. Surgeries and treatments took place during semester breaks. Only a few people knew the journey I was on. Fortunately, my disease was successfully treated. The physical scars were minimal and easily concealed during the New England winter with a turtleneck! I was never in denial that I had cancer. I simply wanted to be defined by something other than my disease.

It was not until I started my own research laboratory that I realized how much being a patient impacted who I was as a researcher. I knew the questions important to patients, because I was also a patient. Finding a balance between being a scientist and an advocate/patient was a challenge, and a role that I took on reluctantly. I struggled with how to balance these two roles. As an advocate, I focus on helping others, empathizing with the pain and challenges of being handed a cancer diagnosis.

Addressing burnout

I wanted these identities to be independent, to keep my scientist and mommy identity separate from my role as a cancer survivor and advocate. It was simpler and cleaner, and I thought I could excel at both. I honestly thought, “I GOT THIS!” Then, over the last year, I grew tired and distant. All of the classic signs of burnout started to manifest. I didn’t want to see them or admit that a career and role I had always wanted — and that gave me such satisfaction — was also burning me out. The loss of too many friends in my advocacy community began to take its toll. The losses to one self, impacted the other self. I still tried to maintain two separate identities and had no idea how much they were intertwined. Something needed to give, but I was unsure of what the root of the problem was.

I learned about A Fresh Chapter and its U.S. based ReFresh Experience for Cancer Advocates & Leaders and decided to take the plunge. If Terri was willing to risk bringing in a scientist-survivor, I would take the risk to explore vulnerability and collaboration more closely. I hoped I could rediscover my voice as an advocate, never dreaming of the level of discovery I would find. The most important thing that I needed to do was to stop separating my “lives” and identities and embrace them. I had no idea the strength that the wounds of cancer gave me. Nor did I have any idea how crappy I was at separating the two selves. Trying to maintain these independent identities caused me to really punish those closest to me.

Embracing the opportunity to heal

As advocates, and healers, we often focus so much of our time on others, and trying to help ease the pain of the wounds associated with cancer. We are quick to give hugs, offer words of encouragement, and lead the charge to help those around us. However, we often forget about our own pain and vulnerability. I rarely took time to think about my own wounds. It is so much easier for me to solve someone else’s problem than to solve my own. I always thought wounds and faults needed to be solved or fixed.

During ReFresh, I discovered the beauty in being broken and the power that our scars and vulnerability give us. I experienced the comfort of holding space, listening and being listened to, without any need to solve or fix! My path and journey are unique but leading me to exactly where I need to be in the now. The quest to get here taught me the skills I need to have. Cancer does not define me. Instead, it has led me on a journey that made me stronger. Over the 5 days, I learned how much more we have to give when we allow ourselves the opportunity to heal. I found a new #AFCTribe that I will carry with me everywhere I go, one that will laugh with me, cry with me, #holdspace with me, and most importantly, help me find the strength and beauty in my brokenness!