A way to honor myself

As I approached my five year cancer-versary, I wanted to find a way to honor myself and reflect on my cancer experience.  Friends from Living Beyond Breast Cancer and Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation had participated in programs through A Fresh Chapter. A Fresh Chapter is a non-profit organization that empowers patients, survivors and caregivers to move beyond the isolation and trauma of cancer, to discover renewed confidence, possibility and purpose in their lives. I was curious about the program and began reading information on the website and watching for the right opportunity.

In January 2019, I was encouraged to investigate the ReFresh Retreat. I completed an application to the program, interviewed and was given an opportunity! Although I felt unsure of what to expect, I knew I wanted to push out of my comfort zone, to reflect and re-energize. I flew to San Francisco in April, with anticipation and uncertainty; I left San Francisco with clarity, purpose and renewed vigor.

Lessons from nature

The setting of the retreat center in the California forest provided the backdrop to reflect on my cancer experience and to explore my continued purpose. The rushing waterfalls reminded me of the chaos of routine life, and the pool at the bottom showed me the importance of being still. Lush green foliage and blooming flora all around filled me with hope. The strong, tall redwood trees reminded me of the strength and resilience needed to endure. 

“As a result of this experience, I intentionally slow down and rejoice in each moment that I am alive.”

I enjoyed several quiet morning hikes with my new tribe. We started in the darkness and climbed up the steep hills, in the cool air. When we reached the top of the mountain, it was time to see the sun awaken and peek over the horizon.  We were rewarded with spectacular colors and rays of light. As we descended to breakfast, we were warmed and ready for the day ahead. This morning time set the tone for my day.  The air energized me, the newly forming friendships helped me develop questions about new possibilities, and the view from the top provided new perspective.

Slowing down and finding peace

 Each day on the retreat, I began to slow down more and more. I became more and more curious and asked questions of myself, to gain understanding and acceptance of my path. I learned from those around me, through the telling of stories and sharing experiences. In all of this, I found peace and calm.

As a result of this experience, I intentionally slow down and rejoice in each moment that I am alive. I find ways to disconnect from the urgency of the busy world and use the time to be fully present. In order to maintain clarity, I strive to quiet my mind.  I remember that there are endless possibilities, but that where I am right now is what matters. These intentions help me to maintain peace. With this peace, I find time to think, to listen, to reflect, to connect and to refresh. In the end, gratitude is the result. In gratitude, my peace continues to flourish.   

Kim Jennings was diagnosed with stage 2b breast cancer in 2014, as a result of her annual mammogram. She endured an array of treatments, including chemotherapy, bilateral mastectomy, reconstruction and radiation. Since her diagnosis, she has become an active advocate in the breast cancer community, working as a helpline volunteer and community connector for Living Beyond Breast Cancer. She serves on the board of directors for the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation and volunteers with the American Cancer Society. Kim embraces each day with enthusiasm and optimism, by living her motto of “Carpe Diem.”