“You can’t connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backward.” ~ Steve Jobs

I have always loved this quote by Steve Jobs, especially during the particularly challenging moments in my life. Moments when nothing seems to be working out the way I had hoped. Moments when I feel like I’m at the foot of another hard climb. 

Recently, I stumbled across this blog post I wrote in 2013. At the time, I was feeling particularly burned out. I had experienced some beginner’s luck when I initially had the vision for starting A Fresh Chapter. I managed to put together a 6-month volunteer trip around the world in 2012 to explore the concept of immersive volunteer experiences for people impacted by cancer, and then launch our pilot program in India in early 2013. It was a few months later and I was exhausted. I had been living out of a suitcase permanently for nearly 2 years. Sleeping on couches and going home to my parents between trips to various U.S. and Canadian cities where I was stumbling through the process of trying to get funding to create something sustainable. I had the vision, but no experience, and a host of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do until I felt so overwhelmed and confused that I could barely see which way was up. In the post below, I had just arrived in Vancouver to sit down with one of my mentors (a brief respite between yet another airport and my next makeshift stay at a relative’s house) – feeling depleted and more than a little lost. Her words, powerful then, strike an even bigger chord in me now. 

“I think what you’re doing is incredible. At the core, it’s about igniting something in people.” She places her tea on the table and then looks at me with concern in her eyes before she continues, “Don’t lose that by trying to become everything to everybody.”

I could not have predicted all that lay ahead. Now, in hindsight, when I read these words, it feels like our 10-week, virtual Ignite Experience was just waiting for the right opportunity to come into the world (who knew that opportunity would be COVID-19?) At the time, I was focused solely on how to fund the next international volunteer travel experience. I didn’t know that over the coming years, AFC would become so much more than travel and that the curriculum we developed for in-country programs would find a new, prolific life online. I couldn’t have known that 8 years later, we would be close to serving 500 people and we would just be getting started.

When I read the exchange about her asking me what my deepest intention was for the program and I see my response – and it is exactly what I would say today – I get chills. Moments like this remind me to trust the path. To keep showing up and doing my best – and to keep coming back to intention as a spark that lights the way forward. 

If you or someone you know has been impacted by cancer, applications for our fall 10-week virtual Ignite Experiences are open until June 30th. Learn more here.

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The post below was originally published in August 2013.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Beads of sweat gather in the fold behind each knee as my fingers vibrate on the black plastic of the suitcase handle. The wheels hum against the asphalt – an auditory reminder of my nomadic life. When I reach the shade of a sprawling oak tree, I wipe my palm against the cotton of my fuchsia dress and hope the sweat won’t leave a mark. The display on my phone reads 3:58pm and even as I contemplate folding myself down into a ball on the patch of grass between the sidewalk and the street, I turn towards the door and heave myself and my possessions up each of the building’s narrow stairs.

As the door opens, I blink to give my eyes time to adjust and within seconds, I feel an almost imperceptible loosening in the muscles between my shoulder blades. It’s as if I’ve slipped out of a cumbersome wool coat on a cold winter’s day.

Janie Brown, Founder & Executive Director of The Callanish Society offers me a cup of tea as she leads me through the kitchen to one of the overstuffed couches. As I look up at the vaulted ceiling, I’m tempted to leave my laptop in my purse and sink back into the cushions with a blanket under my chin. Instead, I tell her about our pilot program in India, and the highs and lows since I returned. I tell her about the people who have told me how we need to expand our services in order to capture the “right” funders and confess how difficult the learning curve has been. The more I talk, the heavier my voice becomes. My throat tightens and I am almost back to feeling like I did during my meltdown in LA – (The Dark Side of Big Dreams & How To Cope With Crying At Starbucks).

She must sense the storm clouds of emotion gathering because she says, “Terri, can I stop you for a minute to ask a question?”

Relieved for the diversion, I reach for my still steaming mug of tea and wait for her to continue.

“What is your deepest intention for this program?” she asks.

Her question both catches me off guard and brings me a sense of comfort. The knots in my stomach begin to unravel.

“For me, it’s about igniting a spark of possibility in people while making a positive impact on communities at home and around the world. I want our participants to feel like new dreams are possible, be renewed by a deep sense of purpose, and have the chance to build lasting friendships with other people who have been impacted by cancer.”

I glance over at her and the silence feels endless. It’s like that pregnant pause when you say “I love you” for the first time and then hold your breath while you wait to see if the other person will say it back. Yet, in this silence I am reminded of how in love I am with this work; this cause; this dream.

Finally, she replies, “That’s what I thought your intention was and Terri – it is more than enough.”

It is more than enough.

Her words and the intensity behind them take a moment to sink in. For the first time in a long time, it feels like someone understands exactly what inspired this dream and sees my vision at a deep and profound level.

“I think what you’re doing is incredible. At the core, it’s about igniting something in people.” She places her tea on the table and then looks at me with concern in her eyes before she continues, “Don’t lose that by trying to become everything to everybody.”

Don’t lose that by trying to become everything to everybody. I had to repeat it over in my head to give it a moment to sink in. The perfect thing to say at the perfect time. I only started to feel depleted when I lost sight of what had lit me up in the first place.

It’s been 3 weeks since I met with Janie Brown in Vancouver and I could not be more grateful for her inspiration and guidance. Today’s post is about reflecting on what truly lights you up inside. If you have gotten away from it, can you find your way back? Or can you be the Janie in someone else’s life? Perhaps there is someone close to you who is struggling to remember why they are working so hard to make a dream come true. As this beautiful quote suggests – A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle – Unknown – maybe if you find yourself in the right place at the right time, you will know the perfect thing to say.

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