As November rolls around I can almost smell American Thanksgiving — turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie and apple pie. It smells like comfort and connection with some of my favorite people. Connection has become harder in our post-pandemic world, wrought with a bit more anxiety. Holidays are no longer just us and those we invited — sometimes this works in our favor, the ability to FaceTime with family or friends that can’t make it to our table is pretty great. However, the constant stream of photos, texts and videos from everyone else’s table can make it hard for us to connect with those right in front of us. As much as I love technology, I can’t help but long for the days of “just us” at our table. Sometimes managing the sheer volume of connection expected is overwhelming. It’s the deep, thoughtful connection that I yearn to experience. How do we continue to curate the kind of connection we need?

One of the single best resources I have read about thoughtfully curating true connection is Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. This book was suggested to me by none other than our fearless leader at AFC, Terri Wingham. At first glance, I was mentally applying all the concepts to business meetings, zoom calls, retreats, etc. When I went back to re-read this pick I realized how it can apply to family holidays, friend weekends, receptions, graduations, etc. What I found so striking about this author was her ability to so thoughtfully curate gatherings of all kinds. Priya Parker brings knowledge from her roles as a facilitator, strategic advisor, author and educator. She carefully guides the reader through all the choices to be made when planning a gathering. “In a world of infinite choices, choosing one thing is the revolutionary act. Imposing that restriction is actually liberating,” she says. Parker then allows the reader to take each choice made and make sure it is supporting the purpose of the gathering. It is a fascinating read that is sure to nurture true connection at any event. www.priyaparker.com

If planning a gathering isn’t in the works and connection still calls — check out The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. An old reliable read. Chapman outlines the five love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch) and allows the reader to assess and identify what their primary love language is and what their partner’s may be to allow better connection. Over the years I have had the Chapman quiz/assessment in my head whenever I have a misunderstanding with a friend. I have found the love languages a practical resource in conflict resolution. The magic of Chapman’s book is identifying a fast track to deep connection by fluently speaking each other’s languages. www.5lovelanguages.com

Being pulled into a million directions as the holidays approach? Maybe a podcast is a better primer for connection. Check out This is Love. This podcast is from the folks (Phoebe Judge and company) who brought you Criminal. After four years of focusing on the worst of humanity, Judge and company decided to change it up and focus on telling stories about love. This is Love shares narratives about romantic love, sure, however — it’s the stories about the subtler kinds of love that get me every time — a man and his dog, a woman and her love of learning to cook with Julia Child, a town in Northern Italy collectively choosing to go silent on a nightly basis to hear a violin.  The New York Times called this a “soothing and inspiring counterweight to doom scrolling”. I couldn’t agree more. Check it out here: www.thisislovepodcast.com

Stay tuned for next month’s post, which will feature brand new resources to explore. 

Kate is a member of several AFC circles. She is an avid reader who enjoys sharing exciting, new resources focusing on personal, professional and spiritual growth. Kate is a freelance writer residing in Northeast Wisconsin with her husband and three teenage children.