A diagnosis that changed everything

When I heard the words, “You have cancer,” my world stopped. I felt numb—overwhelmed by an avalanche of thoughts I couldn’t process. I’m going to die, I kept thinking. My mind spiraled to my mother, my son, my partner—how would they cope? I had no words, no questions—just fear.

My doctor understood. “It’s a lot to take in,” she said gently, holding my hand. “You don’t have to figure everything out at once. And it’s okay to cry.” So, I did.

For a long time after that, I lived in fear—fear of the unknown, fear of what cancer had already done to my family. My father, my grandmother, my uncle, my cousins. I felt like I was next in line.

Finding connection in the loneliest moments

Despite being surrounded by love, I had never felt more alone. People tried to support me, but no one truly understood. Losing my hair was the moment my diagnosis felt real—I had never seen myself without it, and suddenly, cancer wasn’t just a word. It was me.

One day, blindly searching online, I found A Fresh Chapter’s Ignite Experience. I applied, not knowing exactly what I needed—only that I needed something.

From the first session, I was amazed. The facilitators asked thoughtful questions, and the group was filled with warmth and openness. I listened as others shared their fears and grief. And for the first time since my diagnosis, I didn’t feel alone.

One of the most powerful lessons I learned through Ignite was how to hold space—for myself and others. Before, I often spoke quickly, eager to respond. Ignite helped me pause, listen deeply, and allow others to share their stories without interruption. It changed not only how I connected with others but also how I related to myself.

From darkness to light

Cancer forced me to sit in some of the darkest moments of my life. Many times, especially when I find myself in situations that remind me of what I’ve been through or what might happen, I live with the constant fear of recurrence. But then, I quickly remind myself of how far I’ve come, how I’ve survived, and all that I’ve gained—the person I’ve become, the new lease on life I have, and the love I’ve developed for life itself.

What this dark part of my journey has shaped me into, especially through the Ignite Experience, is incredible. I’ve learned that I can give, and that means I can be there for others, offering support, advice, or just a shoulder to cry on.

There’s a quote I once read that perfectly captures this: “Pausing triggers you to start looking for glimmers, like rays of sunshine—something small that can pull you out of a dark place.” That’s what Ignite did for me. It helped me find those glimmers.

A new beginning

On my last day of chemotherapy, I wore a T-shirt that said Last Day of Chemo and shared my journey publicly for the first time. The response was overwhelming—people called me brave, but in truth, I had simply learned how to share my story in a way that inspired others.

Shortly after I finished treatment, my cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found myself in a new role—the supporter. This time, I was the one holding space, offering comfort, listening without rushing to fix. It was a full-circle moment, one that reminded me that healing isn’t just about moving forward—it’s also about reaching back and helping others do the same.

Paying it forward

My journey with A Fresh Chapter didn’t end with Ignite. I went on to join the AFC Leaders Program and helped develop curriculum for AFC’s grassroots Mizizi Workshops. Eventually, I became an Ignite and Mizizi Peer Facilitator, helping others navigate their own cancer experiences.

Leading these sessions has been one of the most fulfilling parts of my life. I get to witness those aha moments—the way someone’s face lights up when they realize they are not alone, when they discover the power of vulnerability, when they allow themselves to hope again.

Beyond the workshops, people—both family and strangers—reach out to me, asking for support. They tell me how my story gives them courage, how seeing me thrive gives them hope. I remind them, You are not superhuman. You are allowed to ask for help. It’s something I had to learn for myself, and now, it’s something I pass on to others.

Eva Allela is a Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) survivor, cancer advocate, and breast health educator dedicated to raising awareness and inspiring hope among patients and survivors. She is a proud alumna of AFC’s Ignite Experience and has served as a Peer Facilitator for both Ignite and Mizizi Workshops.