“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” –  Christopher Reeve

I have never sat on a sidewalk, clutching a cardboard sign and hoping a stranger would toss a few coins or a half eaten sandwich my way. And yet, my life isn’t so far removed from this reality.

Over 1,000 nights ago, I packed the last box, gave away the last piece of furniture, and handed over the keys to my apartment. I had a big hairy audacious dream and couldn’t afford to pay rent while trying to make it happen. So, my six months (which turned into three years) of couch surfing began.

When I tell my story to strangers – often on airplanes or in coffee shops – they inevitably shake their heads and say, “I could never do that.” Usually on the word never, I see the flash of fear in their eyes as they imagine giving up nights spent lounging in front of their favourite reality TV show or mornings spent reading the New York Times in bed.

I never thought I could do it either. If you had told me on September 29, 2011 that I still wouldn’t have a home 1076 days later, I would have asked for my keys back. My job back. My old life back.

Unlike some nomads, living out of a suitcase does not come naturally to me. I was the kid who developed a stomach ache on the night of a friend’s sleepover party, so I wouldn’t have to go. I hated the weird noises, the dark corridors where monsters might lurk, the waking up in an unfamiliar basement or bedroom. Then, as an adult, I became even more high-maintenance. I wouldn’t go on a girls weekend without my pillow (and duvet) and a full pre-departure run down of exactly how the events of the weekend would unfold (including menu plans and floor maps outlining sleeping arrangements). Yes, I was that girl.

Yet, here I am. Still alive after three years of sleeping in countless beds in cities all of the world. Exhausted and more determined than ever.

God-willing, a set of keys to my own apartment is on the horizon. Both the Fresh Chapter Alliance Foundation (and I) need a stable landing pad from which to launch the nine (yes, I said nine) programs we have planned for 2015. From 2-day programs in multiple US cities to 2-week programs in India and Tanzania, to a brand new week-long hybrid program we’re planning to pilot in California, this dream keeps growing.

Audacious and hopeful, we are on a mission to transform grief and pain into purpose and healing through meaningful service. We are driven by the belief that in creating possibility, purpose, and connection for those impacted by cancer, we are building stronger survivors and communities. It is this belief that has never left me over the last 1000+ days. It is also the tribe of volunteers, board members, donors, alumni, and hopeful participants that has inspired me. It is the family and friends who have fed and housed me. Without any of these pieces, I would have given up long ago.

The biggest lesson over the last three years? Every dream involves sacrifices and takes longer than you think it will to come to fruition. Those people who tell you that all you have to do is set your intention and everything you ever wanted will parachute directly into your life? They’re lying. It takes intention, dedication, and a whole tribe of support to bring big dreams to life. 

So, the next time you wake up dreaming about what your heart is aching to do/be/see, stop telling yourself it’s not possible. Trust that you are stronger than you know. Whether it’s single motherhood, choosing to make the most of an unknown future while living with cancer, or moving to a brand new city because you want to start fresh, you are capable of enduring more than you could  have imagined.

And, when it gets hard because you haven’t had a proper sleep in weeks, or you feel lonely because you don’t know a soul, or you’re scared because you don’t know how much time you have left on this planet, trust that the difficult moments are polishing you and preparing you for the road ahead. Then, say a little prayer of gratitude that you are living and breathing and that in this moment, you have the opportunity to dream.

For Patients & Survivors

If you are a cancer patient or survivor who is looking for a meaningful way to start fresh, please sign up for our tribe here. You will be the first to know about our upcoming programs. Stay tuned because we’re getting ready to announce our 2015 International Programs in India and Africa. Applications will open soon (and only be open for a short time), so we don’t want you to miss the opportunity of a lifetime. 

For Champions & Ambassadors

If you are looking for more meaning and purpose in your life – even if you haven’t had cancer – we are looking for you. Our tribe of champions and ambassadors is growing and we would love you to join us in impacting the foundation and the world. Send us a note below and tell us a bit about yourself and why and how you want to get involved. 

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