I used to believe in overnight success stories. People who had a dream and just “made it happen.” Now, I know better.

It’s been seven years since cancer propelled me to the other side of the world. At the time, I was aching for a way to shake off the shadows of sickness. I wanted to free fall into new tastes, textures, and experiences. To feel scared of an unknown I had chosen, instead of the uncertainty cancer had foisted on me. It was the spring of 2011 and I ran away from my life without any idea of what I was running towards. The time since then has made all the difference.

From the first morning of my volunteer placement in the townships outside of Cape Town, he tiptoed into my heart and began to heal the fractures cancer had created. With his big eyes, chubby legs, and infectious smile, I woke up looking forward to the moment his little hand would slide into mine. When he was hungry, wanted his bottle, or needed a diaper changed, he would come and find me – his eyes speaking volumes – even though we didn’t share the same language. This little boy’s love and belief in my capabilities reminded me that cancer had not broken me and I still had so much to give.

I returned from South Africa filled with ideas about creating an organization to help other people heal from cancer through volunteering and travel. I wrote posts about my big hairy audacious dream and became the kind of person who gave up my apartment, sold my possessions, and set off on a six-month trip around the world. Sometimes, I miss that version of myself. The wide-eyed, big-dreaming, blog-writing, freedom-seeking girl. The one who had delusions (yes, delusions) that it would only take a year or two to build an organization and I would soon be rubbing shoulders with people like Oprah after both writing a book and launching a movement. Now, I realize, this wildly idealistic phase was a necessary step to arriving here. A weathered, but wiser woman.

I don’t pretend to have all (or even any) of the answers. But, here are the seven things I wish I could have told myself seven years ago:

1. Embrace Contradiction. There is value in leaning into uncertainty and giving yourself permission to see both the high and the low of any situation. It’s ok to love what you’re doing and know you don’t want to do anything else and yet still feel frustrated and depleted sometimes.
2. Refuse To Let Perfection Take Command. No one is judging you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. They are all too busy worrying about their own lives, fears, and dreams. So, cut yourself some slack and trust that you’re doing the best you can. And it is enough.
3. Intuition is King (Or Queen). Trust that growth is messy and you will feel awkward, say the wrong things, and ask elementary questions. So, let go of trying to succeed right away. Instead, think of the first days, weeks, months, even years, as an opportunity to sharpen your instincts, so you’ll be ready when the right doors open.
4. Ignore Other People’s Fears. So many people will tell you what you can’t do. Learn to sift between the people who push you to think differently and see your plan from all angles and the people who are threatened by your dream. People who – consciously or not – want to keep you in the same place so they won’t be challenged to grow themselves.
5. Zoom The Lens Out. When you feel stuck – like no matter what you try, nothing is working – take a breath and ask yourself, “How could I see this differently?” There might be an easier, smoother path and if you could zoom the lens out and see things from a fresh perspective, you just might discover a better way forward.
6. Give Yourself Permission To Evolve. Be willing to be wrong, change your mind, and evolve your vision. You are not the same person you were last week or last year. The vision you hold now has a greater chance of success because of all you have learned. So, allow yourself and your dreams the opportunity to evolve.
7. Find Your Tribe. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh, make you better, and who remind you that it’s always possible to change and grow. Your tribe is waiting for you. Both the people who have been in your life and continue to stand by your side and the new friends who will enrich your life beyond measure.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share the highs and lows of these last seven years with you and for being such an important part of our tribe. Here’s to a beautiful next chapter in each of our evolving stories.