I was just 32 years old when I went to my doctor’s office with what I thought was a cyst in my breast. But it was far more serious: My medical team discovered I had cancer, and it had already spread to my liver and spine. I was diagnosed at Stage 4.

It was completely stunning to me because no one in my family had the disease, and I didn’t really know a lot about it. And then just to be so young — I was completely flabbergasted even hearing the word “cancer.” 

After that, the questions came: How do I take care of this? What am I going to do? Am I going to survive? I was just trying to navigate this devastating news and figure out a new way of coping, and to deal with all the feelings and emotions that come with it—because I was scared.

It wasn’t just fear for myself: As a single mom with two sons, I was worried for my boys. My youngest was 6. And my oldest was 13, just getting ready to transition into high school. So many fears went through my head — would I be here to see them grow older, graduate high school and accomplish milestones? What would their future be like?

Within my community of friends and family, there weren’t really too many people I could reach out to that would understand how I was feeling. I looked for groups that could help me navigate what I was experiencing, and one of the resources I discovered was A Fresh Chapter.

I did a little research about it. I wasn’t ready right away to participate. I never imagined myself going on a trip like this alone, not really knowing anyone else, but I just kind of put it out to the universe, and about year later, it was something that I really, really wanted to do. 

I participated in the Cape Town Odyssey in 2018. It was such a different experience, and it offered me an opportunity to explore more of my inner self. It also was a way to see how people deal with things on the other side of the world. It changed my world to be able to do something like this, after an experience that I thought would break me. 

While I was in Cape Town, I volunteered to help with health visits for cancer patients at their homes and in the hospital while they were going through their treatments. It’s completely different from the United States. They don’t have the same support systems, and there’s more of a stigma with cancer. So it felt very important to be able to offer encouragement. 

What surprised me the most is everyone there had a positive attitude, regardless of what their situation was, or what the economy was, or their living situation. Everyone was just so joyous and just so happy. And they welcomed us, and they received us with open arms. It meant so much to me.

And I’m doing well now, no longer on chemo — it’s a phenomenal thing. I never thought I would be able to say Stage 4 and no meds anymore. The mental part will always be with you, though. I do get overwhelmed, every now and again, because fear creeps in. And to me, it happens more so around the month of October, which is my diagnosis anniversary. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of how far you’ve actually come because the mental part of cancer, it sticks with you.

Shanette came away from her Odyssey experience feeling “Resilient AF.”

You need those reminders of your resilience, how you can be vulnerable and how to work through certain things. It’s not going to be easy, but you can always navigate through with the tools that AFC offers. I’ve done two of AFC’s Ignite programs to keep myself going. The information is good for life situations as well—not just cancer-related. 

Both the Odyssey and Ignite programs reminded me of who I am, because sometimes, we get lost in the world. We forget about who we are, our possibilities, and about what we can do, because we get so consumed and so overwhelmed by everything that’s going on around us.

It’s extremely important to have emotional support, especially for women in the African-American community. We experience a higher rate of cancer and worse outcomes. We’re often diagnosed at later stages. Historically, we haven’t had a lot of resources or support directed toward our communities. So I try to share what I’ve learned through AFC, and it’s helpful to friends in different situations as well.

I’m happy to say my kids are doing well. My oldest is in his early 20s now, and my youngest is preparing to go to high school. They see me as an example, fighting and pushing through challenges, so they know when difficulties come that they’re going to be okay. That’s so important for them to know, especially being young African American men. I’m also showing them that they can create new possibilities even after a big challenge, because I recently took on the new opportunity of continuing my education. 

I started a business management program online, which I thought was going to be difficult, but surprisingly, it’s coming very natural to me. I realized that when I was diagnosed with cancer, I cut myself off because I didn’t realize I still had those possibilities. I allowed the fear to set in and think that I wasn’t able to do things because I was so worried about the outcome of it. But I’m starting to live through the outcome of it.

I may have a breakdown every now and again, but I always know there’s something positive on the other side of everything negative. The Ignite program helped me to remember, “Okay, you still can do things. Why can’t you?”