The Person Who Re-Kindled My Flame…

Terri Wingham is the founder and CEO of A Fresh Chapter, a cancer survivor, and someone who believes that we are not defined by the most difficult aspects of our story.

Written by Terri Wingham | August 23, 2013

photo-19At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ~ Albert Schweitzer

Beads of sweat gather in the fold behind each knee as my fingers vibrate on the black plastic of the suitcase handle. The wheels hum against the asphalt – an auditory reminder of my nomadic life. When I reach the shade of a sprawling oak tree, I wipe my palm against the cotton of my fuchsia dress and hope the sweat won’t leave a mark. The display on my phone reads 3:58pm and even as I contemplate folding myself down into a ball on the patch of grass between the sidewalk and the street, I turn towards the door and heave myself and my possessions up each of the building’s narrow stairs.

As the door opens, I blink to give my eyes time to adjust and within seconds, I feel an almost imperceptible loosening in the muscles between my shoulder blades. It’s as if I’ve slipped out of a cumbersome wool coat on a cold winter’s day.

Janie Brown, Founder & Executive Director of The Callanish Society offers me a cup of tea as she leads me through the kitchen to one of the overstuffed couches. As I look up at the vaulted ceiling, I’m tempted to leave my laptop in my purse and sink back into the cushions with a blanket under my chin. Instead, I tell her about our pilot program in India, and the highs and lows since I returned. I tell her about the people who have told me how we need to expand our services in order to capture the “right” funders and confess how difficult the learning curve has been. The more I talk, the heavier my voice becomes. My throat tightens and I am almost back to feeling like I did during my meltdown in LA – (The Dark Side of Big Dreams & How To Cope With Crying At Starbucks).

She must sense the storm clouds of emotion gathering because she says, “Terri, can I stop you for a minute to ask a question?”

Relieved for the diversion, I reach for my still steaming mug of tea and wait for her to continue.

“What is your deepest intention for this program?” she asks.

Her question both catches me off guard and brings me a sense of comfort. The knots in my stomach begin to unravel.

photo-47“For me, it’s about igniting a spark of possibility in people while making a positive impact on communities at home and around the world. I want our participants to feel like new dreams are possible, be renewed by a deep senses of purpose, and have the chance to build lasting friendships with other people who have been impacted by cancer.”

I glance over at her and the silence feels endless. It’s like that pregnant pause when you say “I love you” for the first time and then hold your breath while you wait to see if the other person will say it back. Yet, in this silence I am reminded of how in love I am with this work; this cause; this dream.

Finally she replies, “That’s what I thought your intention was and Terri – it is more than enough.”

It is more than enough.

Her words and the intensity behind them take a moment to sink in. For the first time in a long time, it feels like someone understands exactly what inspired this dream and sees my vision at a deep and profound level.

“I think what you’re doing is incredible. At the core, it’s about igniting something in people.” She places her tea on the table and then looks at me with concern in her eyes before she continues, “Don’t lose that by trying to become everything to everybody.”

Don’t lose that by trying to become everything to everybody. I had to repeat it over in my head to give it a moment to sink in. The perfect thing to say at the perfect time. I only started to feel depleted when I lost sight of what had lit me up in the first place.

It’s been 3 weeks since I met with Janie Brown in Vancouver and I could not be more grateful for her inspiration and guidance. Today’s post is about reflecting on what truly lights you up inside. If you have gotten away from it, can you find your way back? Or can you be the Janie in someone else’s life? Perhaps there is someone close to you who is struggling to remember why they are working so hard to make a dream come true. As this beautiful quote suggests – A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle – Unknown – maybe if you find yourself in the right place at the right time, you will know the perfect thing to say.

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Comments (12)
  • bethgainer • August 23, 2013

    Terri, what a terrific experience you had! How wonderful to have the passion for what you do rekindled — such a gift. To be honest, reading your blog always reignites a passion in me. You inspire me so much. Thank you! Never give up on your dreams.

  • Terri Wingham • August 26, 2013

    Thank you Beth! I so appreciate your support and am constantly inspired by all of the people who re-light my flame out here in the blogosphere:)

  • Susan Norgaard • August 23, 2013

    It is wonderful how others are able to ameliorate our lives and I am delighted that your passion has been rekindled Terri.
    I am also a breast cancer survivor and always enjoy and am inspired by your posts.
    Many thanks to you……keep up the great work!!! 🙂

  • Terri Wingham • August 26, 2013

    Susan – It’s always a pleasure to hear from you! I love having you as part of our community! Terri

  • liane • August 23, 2013

    Beautiful ….. it is about the possibility.

  • Terri Wingham • August 26, 2013

    Thank you Liane – It truly is about possibility. So great to have you as part of the community:)

  • Stephanie Sliekers • August 24, 2013

    Hi Terri, I’ve been absent from A Fresh Chapter for some time but am spending my Saturday morning catching up. Just wanted to say that posts like these are what inspire me and remind me why we write, advocate and keep on keeping on. Keep inspiring me, Terri!! 🙂

  • Terri Wingham • August 26, 2013

    Steph – Always such a pleasure to hear from you! I love hearing about the work you are doing too. Keep on keeping on is right:) Terri xo

  • Facing Cancer (@cancer2gether) • August 24, 2013

    Love it. I’m glad you had that moment.

  • Terri Wingham • August 26, 2013

    Thank you so much my friend!

  • Deb Rusch • August 28, 2013

    Hi Terri
    It has been ages and I still follow your journey(s). Janie is the most wonderful person and you caught her amazing gift. Callanish Retreats is her intention and it is the most real experience a person can have – I know this intuitively and it is what I hear from those that have attended.

    Good luck with continuing your “intention” as it is a beautiful one. Keep being inspiring. Still love the way you write!

  • Terri Wingham • September 2, 2013

    Deb – Always so wonderful to hear from you!! Thank you for your comment and for continuing to be part of this evolving journey. So happy to have you as part of the tribe:) Terri

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