Meet AFC Alum Chris & Scott: We Are All One

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Written by AFC Community | April 10, 2018

Linnea Olson is an artist/writer/advocate/activist. She blogs at www.outlivinglungcancer.com. Also mother to three and friend to many, connections are her jam. Linnea was part of our 2017 Peru Odyssey Tribe, where she met two research scientists from Eli Lilly and Company. Today, we are excited to turn over the AFC blog to her and see how these men impacted her experience.  

It was impossible to miss Chris and Scott in our Peru tribe. As the only two males, they were instantly notable. However, even if they had been one of the ‘sisters’, their personalities still would have separated them from the crowd.

Meet Chris

In our early group exercises, Chris was decidedly upbeat and almost cavalier about his own experience with cancer—determined, it would seem, to dismiss any notion of after effect. No PTSD for this cowboy. I immediately ascertained that Chris was a more complicated character than he might suggest.

It turned out that I had the privilege of working closely with Chris during my second week in Peru, in the kitchen of a cancer hospital. We developed an immediate camaraderie and it was fun to watch him—fluent in Spanish—interact with the staff. I could only listen and smile, as we chopped vegetables, washed dishes and served both breakfast and lunch.

The work was fulfilling and physically and emotionally exhausting. So far out of our natural element, it was as if Chris and I had travelled together to some distant planet. I suppose this tightened our bond, because at the end of the week, we had a mini lifetime between us. And I had come to respect what a kind, caring, loving man Chris really was.

In a conversation after we’d returned back home, Chris and I agreed that our life had now been cleaved in two. BP, or before Peru and PP, post Peru. We had embarked with certain assumptions about life, but our experience in Peru had challenged those assumptions. It was clear to both of us that we were changed; and very much for the better. To have undergone that change together made us now feel incredibly close.

Chris marveled at the fact that our tribe had been brought together because we’d all battled cancer. And yet, we spent very little time actually talking about cancer. The elephant in the room—an elephant we all shared—had been dismissed, freeing us all to simply be ourselves.

Meet Scott

And Scott, Mr. Scott 🙂 When I first saw him I thought he was squeaky clean, model handsome and most likely an astronaut. I imagined, given all these attributes, that he would also be uptight and arrogant. I could not have been more mistaken.

Scott’s wonderful laugh and quick and persistent wit won us all over immediately. And in stark contrast to my initial impression, humility is his default position. That, and a strong sense of decency. The day we travelled to Machu Picchu, Scott made the choice to hike to the summit with me. This was extraordinary for a number of reasons. First, Scott is an athlete, a runner in fabulous shape. I have stage IV lung cancer, am in active treatment and am missing most of my left lung. That and my advancing age made me a less than ideal hiking partner for my hale and hearty friend Scott. And yet he insisted on accompanying me as I huffed and puffed my way to the summit. At one point he had his pack strapped to his back and my pack strapped to his chest.

When we summited, an older couple smiled broadly and touched my arm, saying que linda. I turned to Scott and said, “They think we are mother and son.”

That day, Scott and I went to lunch together—well, actually, we each had a pisco sour. We also spent an hour talking, and I learned a lot more about my young friend. And just as with Chris, it was clear that something magical had transpired—that Scott and I now had a bond that would exist long after we returned home from Peru.

When we reconnected with a phone call months later, it was so good to hear that laugh. We talked about what a special place/space Peru held in our hearts. We reminisced about how it had felt to sit in the great room with the fireplace, in a semi-circle with [our facilitators] Terri, Lisa and Deirdre and the rest of our “family.” I ventured that it must have been wonderful for Chris and Scott both to be in an environment where they received so much positive affirmation—something that women are generally quite good at but which is rarer for men to give and receive. Scott agreed that it was, but he also said (again, that humor and humility) that, at times, he felt like he was one of the “sisters.” A special space indeed.

I feel so incredibly fortunate not only to have been part of A Fresh Chapter’s program in Peru but to have come away with these incredible friendships.

The Peru Odyssey program is a partnership between A Fresh Chapter and Eli Lilly and Company’s Connecting Hearts Abroad Program. Half of the program’s participants are Lilly employees who have experienced cancer first-hand and half are selected from the broader A Fresh Chapter community. A Fresh Chapter is proud of our partnership with Lilly. The company’s focus on uniting caring with discovery to make life better for people around the world aligns perfectly with A Fresh Chapter’s work. Together we are transforming the adversity of cancer into an opportunity for renewed purpose, fresh connection and meaningful possibility.

 

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